Scary Things

Hey, two weeks in a row! And it's been a really good week.

Friday night, Heather and I went to the Improv Show. They have one every Friday night, but I'd never been before. This is unfortunate because I had a blast! This is a seriously untapped gem of Cedar City. They put on a great show. I will say however that it did very little to calm my nerves about what we might be doing in Improv Class this week.

Despite the snow and abhorrent weather, I was able to escape to sunny St. George and get in a good run this Saturday. It was even better because I got to run in Snow Canyon State Park. I figure any place that's cool enough to be named a state or national park is a place I want to spend time. And it was beautiful! I've been there a few times before, but I feel this time I was really able to appreciate it's beauty. I'd like to go back and actually hike some of the side trails instead of running the main trail.

Sometimes I really hate running. It's a hassle, it hurts, it's really freaking hard. But I also really love it. I love how it clears my mind. I love how I begin to appreciate my body and how it gets stronger with every mile. I love that step after step, I prove to myself that my willpower is stronger than the thoughts that tell me I can't do this or maybe I should just stop.

Monday night I started playing volleyball again. Cedar has a fall and spring adult league. My team killed it in the fall, so I'm very excited for this season. I'm playing with 3 of the same girls, so hopefully we'll fall back into a good rhythm. This week we beat both teams that we played, so we're off to a good start! Since I didn't play college ball, I didn't think there would be any opportunities for me to play competitively again, so I'm very excited for this.

That brings us to tonight. I went back to Improv class. If it's possible, I think I was more nervous/ anxious for this week than I was for last-- partly because I figured this would be the week I'd have to be on stage, and partly because the Friday night show really freaked me out. I was right about having to be on stage, but thankfully they built us up to that.

We started with a few group activities just to loosen everyone up. Then, we had to play The Game. Actual improv, on an actual stage, with actual people in the audience. And you know what, I'm really happy with how I performed! The game was that you knock on a door and the other person has to answer it, and you build the scene based on what the other person says and you just go with it.

Once I got out of my head and stopped thinking, I felt able to enjoy myself and the scene and just react! instead of taking the time to think about what might be 'right' or funny in this situation. My scenes were:
-I'm a vet and the person on the other side of the door has a dying bird.
-I open the door to a friend who showed up to my mother's funeral wearing jeans. I'm pissed.
-I'm a trick or treat-er and the old lady who answers the door doesn't have candy, but she does have green beans.
-I open the door to someone responding to my newspaper ad for a tiny bike.

They were all kind of dumb and funny, but they were made up on the spot and it was so much fun! And once I was on the stage not worrying about what to say, I also was not worrying about the audience and that was a great feeling. It's amazing how much more confident I felt afterward. I felt powerful and confident and just proud of what I'd done. Incredibly proud that I'd done something that scared the pee out me. Doing scary things is hard, but I think it's probably worth it.

Now I'm home, ready for bed, and looking forward to the week ahead.

What a life we live.